When Kink.com's Facilities Maintenance Technician came into work this morning, he couldn't help but notice that the two flags that had been flying above the Armory when he left work the day before, had mysteriously vanished. Even more puzzling was the fact that 2 homemade flags had been strung up in their place and some fetish wear, a bizarre audio recording, and a ransom note had been left atop the roof by the thieves themselves. With Peter away on vacation, it was up to Senior VP of Production, Arts and Facilities, Lisset Barcellos, to get to the bottom of things. While at first she believed that the guilty party was a Kink.com employee, her prime suspect denied any involvement, and soon she had no choice but to follow the ransom note's instructions to fly the bandits' flags until midnight tonight. Whether it was a harmless April Fool's Day prank or not, the fact remains that 2 flags are still missing and the culprit is still at large.

Picture it: Brazil, 2007: George W. Bush is getting fucked in the ass by a duck and a gorilla: Sadly this is no April Fool's, but it is a joke ... a joke lacking a punchline, which is where you...