The Sword

What do you get a guy with eleven inches and a foreskin made of taffy? Five guys and a Whitman's Sampler, evidently. Barrett's moved on since the release of The Bachelor, but I haven't. In fact, as soon as I can find my cherry, I'm going to dress it up in ClingWrap and a bow like Cameron Fox does.

-- Mike

I thought'd I'd seen everything a Philips Bodygroom could do, but chalk another victory up to the ingenuity of the American People: the treasure trail of Will Vega.

My high school wrestling team was one of the finest in the nation, and I'm not even talking about the championship. On winter weekends, we'd all cram into Mad Maxish auditoriums that smelled like sweaty jock straps to watch the bulges in singlets throw each other around. So when porn director Jett Blakk told us he was shooting the wrestling-themed porno Ringleader for Dirty Bird Pictures, I was pretty much in heaven.

The past year has already witnessed the appearance of former NY go-go boy Brian Kenny in a singlet and the expulsion of two college wrestlers expelled for appearing on a porn site. Unless I find my high school yearbook, I don't think it can get much better.

-- Mike

Related:
Blakk's Ringleader Has Us Pinned
Jett Blakk's Ringleader (NakedSword.com)

Ringleader Production Diaries (Blakk's Blog)

College Wrestlers Outed for Appearance on Gay Porn Site (TheSword.com)

Luke Hass added himself yesterday to the growing rolls of porn stars (Diesel Washington, Vinnie D'Angelo) finished with their exclusive contracts and hitting the web to look for work. Stocks aren't the only things that are undervalued these days -- I'm scraping together my war bonds to see if I can't put one of these on my personal payroll.

"These are girls who are totally into pissing and being pissed on," said Love. "They're really into it; it's their fetish, their fantasy, and they're sharing it with us."

"Piss is something our members have been asking for," said Love. "And it's hot. It feels like silk on your body; it's somebody giving up their juices for you; it's forbidden, it's taboo, it's warm, it's wet — droplets of piss dripping off of gorgeous nipples — that's just completely fucking beautiful to me."

While Kink.com has recently begun featuring golden showers on several of its other sites, Pissing.com will be its first Kink Raw subscription site that focuses entirely on the fetish, employing gonzo-style camerawork to give the viewer a first-person perspective on the performers' kinky personalities and genuine turn-ons.

Pissing.com will make use of many of Kink.com's most popular and frequent female performers, including Ariel X, Flower Tucci, Lorelei Lee, Amber Rayne, Dia Zerva, Penny Play, Alicia Tease, Alexa Von Tess, Adrianna Nicole, Annie Cruz, Satine Phoenix, and Charley Chase. Not only are these women some of the hottest performers in the adult industry, they're also some of the most genuinely dirty, as director Love discovered early on in the production process.

"The most important thing is that she's into it, that she's getting off on it. I don't want girls who are pissing for the money. I want a girl who's really turned on by this. I want her to be in control. I love girls that are into getting the piss in their hair and their mouth and their whole body, just getting covered with warm golden goodness."

Recurring male performers on the site include Lobo, Kurt Wooster, Wolf Hudson and new Kink.com mainstay and wellspring of liquid gold, Maestro. Guests like frequent Kink.com performer Mark Davis will also be adding to the overflowing pool of talent from time to time.

Love says that in addition to directing, she'll also be appearing on camera as a participant. "Watching people pee definitely makes you have to go yourself! Between that and bringing my friends in to pee on hot girls, we're going to have a great time."

With the today's election and special Oprah episode yesterday on vibrators, it's becoming evident we've entered a new era. Old taboos have been shattered and a new compassion has fallen on the land. Take the oddly sweet marriage of Michael Lucas last week. Lucas, deemed a gay porn neocon by The New Republic only months ago, was humbled to accept the hand of a possible communist sympathizer. Are we in backwards land?

Given the fact that Chi Chi LaRue weighs about 95 lbs, evidently so. Lucas, whose previous best known union was in the Venn diagram of Bottega Veneta and watersports, is now known to straight guys as a ladies' man. In the most recent issue of Esquire, in an article on women who love porn, Lucas acknowledged that his body is jill-off material for quiet a few of the fairer sex based on the volume of mail he gets. (Given his rave reviews Savannah Sampson gave their during the filming of La Dolce Vita, we shouldn't be surprised.)

We have to admit though, that it's not Lucas' romantic side that endears us to him, it's the side that dresses up in eyeliner, pees on twinks and attempts to capture the magic of farts on film. In case all this talk of marriage and hockey moms with batteries has tricked you, here's a little walk down memory lane to remind us why we'll never see him behind a picket fence ...

It's time for another installment of everyone's favorite moments in porn. No, we're not talking about the ground shaking orgasms — we mean the embarrassing, awkward, sometimes UNsexy moments referred to in the industry as outtakes or 'bloopers'. While we love the polished finished product' we will always have a soft spot for the hilarious moments that never make it in the final edit, and we know you agree with us. Enjoy!